Bye now, dear laptop
Explorations toward a more balanced life
We hear it a lot, work-life balance. We want it, we need it. Okay, okay! Tools exist to help us, for example: the wheel of life. While this is an inspiring way of looking at life, I continued to find it hard to create that balance.
When I recently quit my job to prioritize my health and well-being, I took a leap of faith like never before, embracing uncertainty and possible financial strain. Going on a break also meant pausing my thinking and talking about all the serious topics I worked on in the past, things that had somehow taken over my life. I decided to radically reduce laptop time, which had shaped most of my days, and give my mind and body the rest it was craving.
A month in the middle of nowhere
During the last month, I then went on an exploration. I got away from everything I knew and followed a dreamy idea. And indeed, I started to encounter what a balanced life might actually look like for me. It turns out what I somehow dreamed of without reason, wasn’t too far off.
Via Workaway I landed in a truly rural place in the German state of Brandenburg. For four weeks, I got to do practical tasks, worked hands-on, smelled fresh — or poopy — air (but didn’t even mind), cared for sheep, goats, donkeys, horses and dogs, including cuddles of course. I wore work clothes, got dirty, was out and about, took quiet walks, met new people, felt rewarded at the end of the day no matter what the challenges had been. I saw the impact of my work. It was simple, complex, important, beautiful, a life I did not know before. What a difference! It felt like me.
Most of my life I have lived in cities, in somewhat smaller or bigger apartments, a bit of a garden here or there, surrounded by houses and concrete walls, windows, neighbors, city activity, day and night. Most of that time I never felt fully at ease. These places, they were temporary. Even though I had fantasized of it already, I didn’t allow myself to question the known. And now it actively dawned on me: I never liked living in cities. I believed I should live there because that’s where things take place, where all the (young) people are, right? I brushed aside my fantasy of living in remote places, had decided it wasn’t the time for it yet. Later, maybe.
Today and through this latest experience, I know that the life I led was not authentic to me and that’s why I could not find balance and wellbeing in my life. I truly love having space, peace and quiet. I love taking in vast landscapes, breathing fresh air, working physically, greeting strangers and feeling part of a small local community. I feel awe when surrounded by stars and trees and natural waters, this is what is good for me, where I feel alive. And then, I can still spend some time on my laptop, I realized, to take care of things, be creative, build something online. And it doesn’t have to take so much time. After a morning routine, I sit down refreshed and inspired, and what needs to be done is completed in a few hours, and I get back to real life. Oh, how nice.
Forgotten but remembered
Many years ago, I already did live a more balanced life. I went to school, did sports, met friends, played, laughed, spent only some time with digital devices. Over time, as the internet became more accessible, I began trying to build my own life, moved from city to city and this weird kind of addiction set in: Being online, following what others are doing, feeling jealous, researching this and that, taking online courses, video chatting, watching Netflix. And then working remotely and online. It’s been so easy, so useful, so essential. But I now remember that for me, the life worth living happens outside and away from the laptop.
I am not certain how I can implement what I experienced during this one month into my daily life, but living this dream firsthand, discovering and allowing it, has been crucial. I do want to wake up to beautiful landscapes and cute animal faces. I am excited to continue understanding and perhaps remembering what I need, and to use what I have to create and attract it into my life. It’s been an incredible month and I am ready for more of the same.
A balanced life surely means something different for all of us, depending on our unique self, interests, life chapters and stages, periodic or long-term priorities. What are the things that make you feel well and like your life is in balance?
The writing prompt for this piece was Forgotten Skills.
