Qualities of a fantastic day
An antidotal exercise for the worrisome mind
I would not have guessed that 2023 would be one of the toughest years yet. I had landed an opportunity to work with animals, a dream come true. However, one beautiful thing does not automatically solve all the other challenges in life. They followed me, exacerbated, probably for my own good, forced me to continue on this ongoing love-and-hate story between me and life. Luckily, friendly forces kept me afloat so I could reach the end of 2023 and have a chance to reflect once again about the choices I made, the experiences I learned from, the people I met, the long-lasting struggles I endured, and also all the wonderful moments I experienced.
This year I started to grasp how experiences and thoughts feel in my body, how to notice it, allow it and sometimes even befriend it, and how this process matters so much more than the rational and intellectual mind. I started to wonder: What if, instead of obsessively analyzing the past to learn from it and stressfully worry-planning the future, one could turn around and occupy one’s mind with, as I now call it, positive future planning. Even when writing or speaking this concept out loud — positive future planning — I can feel tension being released in my whole being. I can feel my mind lighten up, I can feel my body lighten up, there’s more hope. I have been taught to always consider all that could go wrong first, to prepare, to have a plan B, to consider the negative “what ifs”. This year for the first time I have understood the power of turning this around, to consider the positive “what ifs” instead, the perhaps true meaning behind positive focus.
When faced with the next prompt on this writing journey, I couldn’t think of any one day that would stand out. Some moments popped into mind, but no whole days. There’s been bliss and gratitude and love, but the heavy days stand out far more. However, in the spirit of my new understanding of positive focus, I wanted to use this change. What if I imagined with my whole mind and body what a fantastic day would look and feel like to me? I didn’t want to make it the “best day”, as somehow such as day would likely not even fit into my imagination. It would come rather unexpected and potentially have qualities I cannot even fathom yet. I believe my “best day” is yet to come and so focusing on what a fantastic day would look like feels wholesome enough.
Working out the qualities of a fantastic day for me feels like an exciting and somewhat antidotal exercise for getting to know my authentic self, or a part of it. Throughout the last 10+ years I have focused a lot on my shadow side, my pain, agony, I wanted to heal it “away”. This year I learned the importance of focusing on all the joys in life. When I find myself smiling enormously or laughing in a hearty way, I notice this now more immediately and feel grateful for this moment of bliss. I take note and say “I want more of THIS”. It feels loving.
In order to identify the qualities of a fantastic day for myself, I settled down, turned my eyes inward, let images and sensations arise. The qualities I came up arrived from early life memories, insights from my authenticity journey so far, truths that resonated from inspirational content, and who knows what else. I sat but I also moved around, did other things, and let thoughts pop up without a rush.
And here are my qualities of a fantastic day:
- Physical needs: deep and restful sleep, healthy, tasty, visually and texturally pleasing food, 100% comfortable clothes, warmth, light, feeling safe and free
- Emotional needs: human connection — friends, family, strangers, eye contact, deeply seeing another, hugs, warmth, humor and laughter, play, sense of community, belonging, togetherness
- Intellectual needs: calm, absence of stress (unless within a positive adventure), movement of the body, learning something about myself and life, e.g. through encounters, art, words, books, experiences
- A Sense of adventure: feeling alive e.g. via exploring something new each day with my body and senses which happens beautifully while traveling
- Stimulating physical environments: natural and aesthetic, pleasing to the eye and senses such as small old towns, cozy coffee shops, bakeries, sunrays, a hike in a lush forest filled with flowers, smells, sounds
- Connection with the non-human world: noticing the awe and wonder of other living beings such as plants, natural structures, animals, their beautiful innocent presence in the place that is a home to all of us
- Capturing moments of beauty: in still or moving image format, in words
- Time to be, reflect, synthesize: making sense of the experience, combining impressions of the day with words, reflections, sharing this in a way that is accessible to others
- In summary, my fantastic day is a a balanced day filled with things I love (doing). Makes sense, doesn’t it?
What do the qualities I’ve listed say about me? About who I am? Anything? Nothing? Is it something I already know and don’t want to recognize as valuable and meaningful because I feel it doesn’t seem valid enough for survival in this world? Doesn’t lead to anything? Or is it already more than I need to know in order to take the next action to build an authentic life filled with more fantastic days? Perhaps fruitful questions to sit with...
This year I feel I have already gotten much closer to a more authentic way of being than ever before. Yet, it’s still been a surprisingly tough year. Living more authentically doesn’t necessarily mean that life will be easier or that there will be immediately much more joy in it. BUT, it could mean that one’s life feels more right than ever before, more true even in the hardships one faces. I like it. And so it continues.
The writing prompt for this piece was Best Day of Your Life.
